A gentleman of the heterosexual variety was today acquitted of assault after an incident in a Derry gay bar. Apparently a saucy queer decided to pinch his arse. Not a fan of having his poo cannon squeezed, the straight guy pushed his face into the face of poor unsuspecting poof. Why this ever got to court I will never know????
Christopher Brendan Thompson had been dancing the night away in Pepe’s Bar (Pepe must be the local ‘gay’ in Derry) last November. As Mr Thompson was popping out for a fag (no he hadn’t pulled, we mean a cigarette) a homosexual gentleman reached out and gave his bum a cheeky squeeze. According the Mr Thompson, he reacted the way he did because the gay was “ready to plant his lips on me.”
Thompson’s lawyer defended his actions by saying he: “had been “the victim of a sexual assault and he immediately turned around and rebutted that assault . He did so by pushing his face into the other man’s face. There was no blood, no injury, no bruising.”
District Judge Barney McElholm said he accepted that Mr Thompson had been brushing the man off as footballers sometimes do. Hang on, footballers do what? When I ‘brush’ guys off its usually in the cubicle after some heavy petting on the dance floor.
This seems all fine and straightforward to me? A guy fancies his luck and squeezes another guys arse. Being in gay bar I imagine he assumed they would take it as harmless flirting. Unfortunately the stupid ninny picked the only chuffing straight guy there. The straight guy acted as any butch hetty would do, he squared up to him. Didn’t hit him but, in the words of the judge; “established his straight credentials”. Neither reported the incident and both went on their way. So why are they up in court, retelling this minor misunderstanding? Because some ‘eyewitness’ reported it!
Who does that? Neither wanted to take it further, so why bother? What did this busybody hope to gain by wasting police time and taxpayers money? Can we not drag this nosey shit to court and grill him on what possessed him to stick his ore into someone else’s, already, awkward and embarrassing business?
My god, don’t let this ‘eye witness’ start gay dating Soho. He’ll have half the Met down old Compton street as soon as he walks into G.A.Y.
No comments:
Post a Comment