HAPPY THURSDAY

Bingo war divides sheltered housing complex

Disabled pensioner Brian Halling, 67, who has been threatened with an ASBO for partying

In a series of tit-for-tat claim and counter claim, allegations involving late-night partying, loud music, vandalism and even one resident bringing home men for sex, have soured relations between elderly residents of a sheltered housing complex.

In an unusual bid to calm tensions, all 70 people living in the Ash Grove home in Birmingham have been issued with a letter from the local council threatening them with Asbos and eviction if things don’t calm down.

The letter, if anything, has had the opposite effect and now the entire complex is up in arms.

Problems started when Jean Walton, 65, moved in and began hosting regular bingo sessions in the common room. Her crime was not the bingo, but that she invited outsiders in in the form of family and friends.

Some of the residents, fiercely protective of their room, were infuriated, and sought redress through official channels. A series of ever more lurid accusations followed.

Complaints included reports of partying until 2am, loud music being played and posters at local shops advertising the bingo being torn down.

Miss Walton, who moved in in April, remains defiant and said she will not be intimidated. “Our bingo will carry on and it will not stop me. I don't want to vegetate for the rest of my life - we have a room and we should use it.

"They are closing all of our elderly day centres around here and we've got a perfectly good room to use for activities and fun."

She said the problems started after a housewarming party she hosted on July 4th, which she claimed finished just after 11pm, although others have suggested much later, adding: “I wish to God I never moved here and that I never threw that party."

Her friend and fellow bingo organiser, Brenda Gough, 66, also claims to have found herself on the end of malicious gossip by some of those seeking to have their activities shut down.

Miss Gough, who has lived at Ash Grove, in Great Barr, for 15 years, said she has been accused of bringing men home for sex, which she denies, branding the complainants “childish” and “pathetic”.

With residents as old as 90, opponents of Miss Gough and Miss Walton say the peace and tranquility of the complex are of the highest importance. There is also increased concerns about crime if strangers are allowed in and out of the common room and the complex.

Such are the growing hostilities that Jacqueline Carbado, Birmingham City Council’s assistant housing officer, wrote to all residents reminding them of their tenancy responsibilities.

Her letter states that “several residents have complained of harassment, which consists of intimidation, bullying and spreading malicious rumours” and warns of direct action should the bad behaviour continue.

Residents have called for the letter to be formally withdrawn and are trying to gather a committee to sort the problems out.

June Hill,62, a former warden at the housing scheme, said: “This has never happened in the 16 years we have lived in the community – it’s a huge stress.”

Mr Hill, 62, added: “The outsiders coming for the bingo fill the road full of cars and there's no room for emergency vehicles.

"We've had burglaries and we don't need strangers down here.”

Birmingham Cllr Keith Linnecor said the council’s actions were over the top and said: “The council should withdraw these letters and mount a full investigation. This is a private estate and I am sure they are not allowed to use the common room for public events."

A Birmingham City Council spokesman said: “We takes matters of anti social behaviour seriously and following a number of complaints from residents at the Ash Grove Warden Scheme, which we are currently investigating, we felt it was necessary to remind all residents that abusive, threatening or intimidating behaviour towards their neighbours would not be tolerated.

“We have not threatened any of our residents with an ASBO, but we accept that the letter may be regarded as over zealous. We did not intend to cause our residents any upset or concern and we are sorry if we have. We remain committed to protecting their safety.

“Local housing staff are currently working with residents to find a solution to the issues they face.
”

KYLIE ..NEED I SAY MORE!!

BIG BROTHER JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER

HAVE A LAZY DAY

VICTORIA WOOD LYRICS

Pam

Can I tell you who I am
I'm Pamela Particia but they call me Pam
I don't like shorts or sling back shoes
My only pair of trousers are my gardening trews
I don't say who, I do say whom
I never use the toilet, just the smallest room
I don't say gay I still say queer
I think that Mussolini had the right idea

Got engaged in '62
Got married in the April in a nice pale blue
It all turned sour to say the least
I was stuck in Abergele with a sex crazed beast
Our wedding night I heard a cough
There was Harold in the doorway with his 'jamas off
I said now look I must be blunt
I couldn't give a begger on the whole sex front
Not me, not my scene
I prefer a game of rummy and an ovaltine
Harold dear, now do get dressed
I've seen one in a book and I was not impressed

Once divorced I lived alone
Then I chummed up with a woman by the name of Joan
She moved in, she seemed quite nice
Wore army boots and braces but I didn't think twice
Then one night she seemed upset
I said, are you not happy in my maisonette?
she drained her rum and babysham
Ran her fingers through her crew cut, said I love you Pam
I didn't faint, I didn't scream
Just carried on demolishing my custard cream
She said please come upstairs with me
Let me show you just how wonderful a love can be
I said alright, but don't be late
There's a thing by Alan Bennet on at half past eight
So up we go and off she went
But all I seemed to think about was Stoke-on-Trent
Not me, it didn't gel
I prefer a cup of cocoa and a Ruth Rendell
Joan dear, do get dressed
No woman over forty suits a mauve string vest

Then last year to beat the blues
I booked myself a cabin on a ten day cruise
So much to do, so much to see
With a load of single women who looked just like me
Then one night I clicked like that
With a batchelor called Billy in a golfing hat
We were so happy hand in hand
Listening to a lecture on the prostate gland

I told him sex had been no go
He took it as a challange and we went below
We kissed and hugged without delay
He tried to take my rainhood off I said, no way
He said, I bet you ten whole pounds
I bet you'll have an orgasm while I'm around
He got stuck in he really tried
But I only felt a tremor down my left hand side
Not me, that's my boast
I prefer a bit of ironing and a round of toast
Bill dear, do get dressed
But he just fell over moaning as he clutched his chest
He went Arrrggh 
(It was that type of sound)

Bill was dead, he died for me
They took him on a stretcher as I drank my tea
But as I poured another cup
I thought, I've never had that orgasm, I'm ten quid up!






Things Would Never Have Worked

It's over, we've missed the bus
Nice idea, but not for us,
We didn't click,
Let's make it quick and say goodbye,
Don't hold my hand, and don't demand a reason why
No loving looks, no fond regards,
Tonight was always on the cards.

I like big muscles, you were thin and lanky,
I like nice manners, you were far too cranky,
You blew your nose and then looked in your hanky,
Things would never have worked.

The day I met you was a real heart-wrencher,
I thought that love would be a big adventure,
Then saw the spinach on your bottom dencher,
Things would never have worked.

I wanted champagne and oysters,
'Cause that's the way I am,
You gave me Vimto, tinned carrots and Spam.

Rappot's a thing you just can't manufacture,
You had your pin-up girl, I couldn't match her,
I didn't want to, it was Mrs. Thatcher,
Things would never have worked.

I wanted love to come and knock our blocks off,
But even Venus takes her card and clocks off,
Your idea of foreplay was to take your socks off,
Things would never have worked.

I wanted moonlight and roses and all that silly tosh,
You wanted gerbils, a whippet, a wash.

I wanted love poems but you couldn't write them,
My earlobes nibbled but you wouldn't bite them,
You'd only fart and then, attempt to light them,
Things would never have worked.

We're not compatible, let's not get blue dear,
At least we see each other's point of view dear,
I like big hunky men and so do you dear,
Things would never have worked.





Let's Do It 


Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup

She licked her lips. She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
Appealing.
I've really got an appetite.

I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.

No derision!
My decision—
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it till our hearts go boom!
Go native,
Creative
Living in the living room.

This folly
Is jolly.
Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
I'm older,
Feel colder.
It's other things that turn me on.

I'm imploring:
I'm bo 

Lazy Sunday Pants

Pants for lazy sunday, by Spanish studio Mitemite. You can dinner on your pant table and also with a big pocket for TV remotes.
"cosy clothes for those cold grey gundays. Use the piece of tablecloth on the trousers to indulge in your favourite TV dinners."

Newport (Ymerodraeth State of Mind)

'World's strongest ale' comes in eye-catching dead animal bottles

BrewDog, of Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire, is the firm behind the new ale that's apparently stronger than whisky and vodka at 55 per cent volume.

Indeed, the brewer recommends that the tasty beverage is served in a shot glass 'to be enjoyed like a fine whisky'.

Twelve bottles of The End Of History have already slid off the production line and been placed inside seven dead stoats, four squirrels and one hare.

These wee beasties will set you back £500 (NB no animals were harmed in the making of this product)

The animals weren't killed specifically for the purposes of housing the bottles, but died of natural causes.

The critters also sport a range of eye-catching outfits including a kilt and a top hat.

BrewDog co-founder James Watt describes The End Of History as 'a perfect conceptual marriage between taxidermy, art and craft brewing'.

'This is the beer to end all beers. It's an audacious blend of eccentricity, artistry and rebellion; changing the general perception of beer, one stuffed animal at a time,' he continues.

'The bottles are at once beautiful and disturbing - they disrupt conventions and break taboos, just like the beer they hold within them.'

Infused with nettles and juniper berries, the blond Belgian ale is created by freezing the liquid to separate water from the solution, fact fans will be delighted to know. 

Mosquito chokes Taiwanese TV presenter during live broadcast

Huang Ching was presenting a live news programme, when a rogue mosquito flew into her mouth.

The creature managed to lodge itself in Ching's windpipe, causing her to choke - though in an amazing display of professionalism Ching attempted to continue her broadcast. 

The China Television Co had to rush out a four-minute advert while a replacement presenter was drafted in to carry on the news. 

'I never expected a mosquito to have such a great power. It really gave me a bad day,' Ching told the China Times. Ching was rushed to hospital following the incident, and spent a day under observation to recover. 

Big Brother High Music Video

Wesley Snipes faces jail for tax evasion

As 45-year-old actor Wesley Snipes� sits in a court room chair facing tax fraud, conspiracy and willful failure to file tax returns, the next 16 years of his life could soon be predetermined.

Like most celebrities that find themselves in �sticky situations,� Snipes is claiming that he fell victim to poor advice provided by his two co-defendants, Eddie Ray Kahn and Douglas Rosile. Of course, this claim was quickly overshadowed by Kenneth Starr, head of New York-based Starr and Co., who testified last Thursday that he tried to persuade Snipes to pay his taxes in a 90-minute telephone conversation in 2000.

Wesley Snipes' lawyers have moved to further delay the actor's jail sentence - they have filed a court motion asking to question the jurors who convicted the star on tax evasion charges.

The Blade actor lost an appeal against his three-year jail term earlier this month after a 2008 trial found him guilty of three misdemeanour counts of willful failure to file his income tax returns.

Prosecutors this week urged the judge overseeing the case to revoke Snipes' bail and send him to prison immediately to begin his sentence.

The star's legal team has hit back by filing a motion on Friday asking permission to question jurors involved in his trial to find out whether they had pre-determined his guilt before the case was heard in court.

The motion claims Snipes' attorney Daniel Meachum received an email from an unnamed juror alleging three others on the panel had presumed Snipe's guilt, which would constitute a breach of his right to a fair trial, according to the Associated Press.

HAVE A DRY WEDNESDAY!!!

Russians questioned over parachuting donkey

Attached to a parachute, the animal screamed in fear as it circled over heads of holidaymakers sunbathing on a beach in the Cossack village of Golubitskaya in the Krasnodar region of Russia last week.

A regional police spokeswoman said the donkey ended up in the skies as a result of an impromptu advertising campaign by several Russian entrepreneurs to attract beachgoers to their private beach.

Instead, they attracted the attention of regional police who learned of the flying donkey earlier this week and launched a probe.

"The donkey screamed and children cried," Larisa Tuchkova, regional police spokeswoman, said. "No one had the brains to call police."

Instead, she said, people reached for their cameras and bombarded a local newspaper with phone calls.

The donkey was dragged several metres along the water on landing, after which the animal was pulled out half-alive on to the shore
.

'Coventry beach' to be removed

Stephen Hammon, 45, constructed the £1.4m attraction in July last year but was fined £4,000 after it emerged he did not have planning permission.

Now North Warwickshire Borough Council has ordered the beach by a five-acre lake in Fillongley, near Coventry, to be bulldozed.

The council claims that the beach and its thousands of visitors are damaging the environment and that it must be removed by 6 August.

Mr Hammon, who used 1,500 tonnes of sand to build the beach as part of a conference centre, suggested officials were being killjoys and has appealed the council's "ridiculous" decision.

"I'm really proud of the fact that this is England's most central beach," he said.

"The beach provides so much happiness. It's not doing any harm so why close it?"

"We employ around 60 staff but if the council gets its way then I'll be forced to lay off the majority of those.

"There all local people who worked brilliantly. At a time when jobs are in such short supply it seems ridiculous.

A spokesman said: "The simple fact is that this beach does not have planning permission.

"Not only is there a considerable amount of other development on the site that doesn't have permission, the company is not operating in accordance with its existing plans.
"

Prisoners escape after guards put dummy in watch tower

The two men, Walter Pozo and Cesar Andres, leapt over a wire fence before scaling the perimeter wall and making their escape unnoticed by the remaining guards.

Prison workers said that a shortage of staff meant they were only able to man two of the 15 guard towers so they had to resort to using a stand in.

A prison source said: "We've made a dummy out of a football and a prison officer's cap, so that the prisoner see its shadow and think they're being watched."

"We named him Wilson, like in the film Cast Away, and put him in one of the towers," the man told the Diario Rio Negro newspaper, referring to the Tom Hanks film in which his character invents a volleyball character for company.

The source said that the video cameras monitoring the perimeter wall had stopped working some months ago. He said that he hoped the incident would alert the authorities to the problems with lack of resources and that politicians would act to improve the conditions.

Both had been serving out sentences for armed robbery at the jail in Argentina's Neuquén province. The escaped convicts, who were nearing the end of their sentences so were being held in a part of the prison with fewer security measures, have not yet been recaptured.

Nestor D'Abramo, a prison official, confirmed the two men had escaped and said they had jumped the fence before clambering over the wall
.

Transvestite had sex with a dog at English Heritage castle

The cross-dressing man was caught with the animal in the dry moat of King Henry VIII's Pendennis Castle overlooking Falmouth Bay in Cornwall.

The 33-year-old mounted the pet after it chased him out of sight of its woman owner.

The owner had been walking around the ancient castle with a friend when the pair spotted the lone transvestite on the morning of Saturday July 10th at around a quarter to twelve.

He was wearing a black dress and walking around the steep-walled, empty moat.

As the two ladies spotted the cross dresser he ran away. Later one of the dogs chased after the man; by the time the women had caught up, the man was having sex with the pet.

Castle staff then restrained the man while police were called.

Pendennis Castle, managed by English Heritage, is a popular family tourist attraction and was heaving with visitors in high season.

He was escorted home and later made a "full and frank confession", and received a caution for outraging public decency.

A police spokesman said: "Other agencies were liaised with and he was handed over to them".

A spokesman for English Heritage said: "This was a very rare incident"
.

GLEE - Teaser: Single Ladies

If Adam Become Gay

JEDWARD TEARS LIGAMENT

WET WEDNESDAY

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

LOVE THIS SHOW

HAPPY HOT SUNDAY

GET HER OUT !!!!

HARD WORK THURSDAY

NOT KEEN ON THE NEIGHBOURS

WEIRD TOILET SIGNS

And finally a bizarre Urinal in Switzerland

Here’s a cool and weird upside down school bus.  Now, I don’t know which school you have to go to take this bus but what a creative way to make a school bus

A REAL TREE...

LOVING BB

Posh Defends Beckham's Balls

HE'S NOT HAPPY

AS SENT TO ME BY KEITH

HAPPY TUESDAY

CAN'T STAND HIM

SHOULD NOT OF WALKED I HATE IT WHEN THEY DO THAT...

Stunning success for first ever Manchester Day

At least 75,000 people lined the streets of Manchester to watch a spectacular parade to mark the first-ever Manchester Day.

More than 1,800 people participated in the parade, drawn from more than 80 community groups, charities and companies from across Manchester. 

The parade, sponsored by Siemens, featured remarkable floats, inflatables, larger than life characters, dancers, acrobats and performers. 

The event was commissioned by Manchester City Council and produced by internationally-acclaimed event organisers Walk the Plank. 

Councillor Pat Karney, Manchester Day chair, said: "This was the best parade Manchester has ever seen - a world-beater up there with New York, Sydney and Rio. 

"It was incredible to see how many people turned out in the beaming Manchester sunshine for the parade to celebrate everything that makes our city so great." 

Councillor Mike Amesbury, Manchester City Council's executive member for culture and leisure, added: "The first-ever Manchester Day was an amazing event, with sights and sounds the like of which the city has never seen before. 

"What made it all the more amazing is that it was all created by Manchester people working together to celebrate pride in our great city." 

It is hoped Manchester Day will now become an annual fixture in the city's exciting events calendar. 

Manchester Day was a UK-first as no city has ever had a day set aside to celebrate its success.

Kylie Minogue - Gay Pride Madrid 2010 News

South African sand artists recreate stadiums

Horse Boy' reappears on Google Street View in Aberdeen

The mysterious Google Street View 'Horse Boy' has reappeared on the streets of Aberdeen, after a short, unexplained disappearance.

 

The Horse Boy's second Street View appearance, on Hazledene Road in Aberdeen. Photo: GOOGLE

The original Horse Boy, a man in a purple jumper and a rubber horse's head mask, was spotted on Google Street View on Hardgate in Aberdeen. He has appeared separately, now in a green jumper and with a human-headed schoolgirl companion, on Hazlemere Road in the same city.

The first, purple-jumpered image was taken down by Google for a while, but has now been restored. No explanation was given either for the disappearance or subsequent restoration.

Nonetheless he has become an international phenomenon. Stefan Kleen from Germany said he met horse-boy at a festival: "He only spoke English so we didn't really talk a lot to him." He has also apparently been spotted in Norwich and Cardiff.

A YouTube user by the name of TheHumanHorse has posted a video claiming to be Horse Boy, saying: "I am Back! After I was spotted on Google Street View I thought I’d upload this video to show I am still around! Horse boy coming to a garden near you soon!"

However, commenters point out that he seems to have lost a lot of weight since his Street View appearances, suggesting that the search for the real Horse Boy may still be ongoing
.