Funny But True Stories !!!

American in Paris

Harvey, an elderly American absentmindedly arrived at French immigration at Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris and fumbled for his passport.

'You have been to France before Monsieur?' the official asked in an aggressive tone.

Harvey, smiled and admitted that he had been to France before.

'In that case you should know enough to have your passport ready for inspection,' barked the bad-tempered officer.

Harvey gently informed the man that the last time he came to France he did not have to show his passport or any other documents.

'Pas possible, old man. You Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in 'la belle France.'

Harvey gave the Frenchman a long hard look. 'I assure you, young man, that when I came ashore on Omaha Beach in Normandy on D-Day

in 1944, there was no damned Frenchman on the beach asking for passports.'

Batman Flies In

Hilarious, short conversation allegedly held between an US Immigration Officer at Miami International Airport and an incoming passenger:

Immigration Officer: Your name, please?
Passenger : Batman.

Immigration Officer: What's your real name?
Passenger: My name is Bat-man.

Immigration Officer: Are you trying to be funny? What's your surname?
Passenger: Superman.

Immigration Officer: So you're telling me your name is Batman Superman?
Passenger: Yes.

Immigration Officer [calling over to Passport Security]: Hey Bud, arrest this guy.............

[See below for the passenger's ID card: ]

Terrible Fishy Tale

Joan Higgins, aged 66, has been selling pets and fishing tackle for years from her shop in Sale, Manchester, England.  Then one day an officer from the trading standards department decided to lure her into selling a goldfish to an underage boy.

The first point about this surreal case is that it does not seem unreasonable for a 14 year old to buy a goldfish.  You can understand the police setting up 'sting' operations for shops selling cigarettes or booze to underage youths, but why are they wasting £20,000 on operations to trap shopkeepers selling goldfish?

So far, so bad - but it gets worse, the magistrate fined Mrs Higgins £1,000, presumably as an example to other shopkeepers.  If you are struggling to believe the story up to this point, then you will be incredulous with the sting in the tail, 66 year old Mrs Higgins was told to wear an electronic tag and was made the subject of a curfew order normally reserved for violent repeat offenders.  Why was it necessary in this case?

We wonder if Mr Iain Veitch, head of public protection at Trafford Council, is sane when he said: 'Let this conviction send out a message that we will not tolerate those who cause unnecessary suffering to animals. The council will always try to support pet and business owners so that they are able to care for their animals properly, but where they continually ignore the advice they are given, we will not hesitate to use our statutory powers.'

In case you are wondering, no animals were hurt in this true story; the goldfish was adopted by an animal welfare officer.

Will's Experience at Gatwick

After his return from Rome, Will couldn't find his luggage in the London Gatwick airport baggage area.  So he went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn't shown up on the carousel.  She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

'Now', she asked Will, 'has your plane arrived yet?'

Crazy Aussie Driver

A drunk driver tried to avoid arrest by leaping into the back of his moving car during a chase in the Australian outback.

Police in the Northern Territory town of Katherine were stunned when they realised the 24-year-old driver had abandoned the controls and jumped on to the back seat with his three passengers in an apparent attempt to fool officers. The runaway car continued for 150 metres at 25mph before police on foot ran it down and applied the brakes.

Police said the driver panicked when they tried to pull him over for a random breath test.