GAY PRIDE PARADE NUDITY STILL BAFFLING SCIENTISTS

Toronto, Canada – There is perhaps no minority in the history of the world which has had a mixed history like that of homosexuals. Across all countries, all ethnicities, and all economic and social conditions homosexuality has played a role in the makeup of society. Unlike racial or ethnic minorities, homosexuals have never been the victims 

of prejudice based on their appearance but rather on their behaviour. The existence of homosexuality has long been documented and enjoyed various levels of acceptance throughout ancient civilizations, perhaps no more than in the modern day.

An abundance of positive role models in media, the gradual acceptance of co-habitation and marriage, and the growing indifference to a person’s sexual orientation in any capacity have made the modern world one of the most free and accepting societies ever. It is in that world that events such as Pride parades have flourished but despite the advances of the modern world sociologists have still been stuck on the question of why so many gay and lesbian people are unable to retain clothing during Pride parades and have some wondering if there isn’t something fundamentally different about homosexual people after all.

“The core issue here is whether or not there is some kind of physical difference 
between homosexual and heterosexual people that we have yet to ascertain. Tests have never indicated that there are any unique differences in body structure but the mystery of how these clothes are unable to stay on people’s bodies continues to baffle even the most learned of scientists,” said Kal Walker, a sociologist who has worked with GLAAD. “I am homosexual myself but have never had trouble keeping my clothing on in a public setting. I buy the right sizes, occasionally have things fitted, but have never had the problem of my clothes just suddenly slipping off my body the way it seems  to occur with so many of the people that attend Pride parades. It could be that people who attend those parades simply don’t know how to dress properly but then we need to determine if those two things are intertwined or if somehow these parades themselves create some kind of modification of the body that renders clothes un-wearable.”

Pride parades have become more and more common across North America with those in Toronto, Vancouver, New York, and San Francisco being the best known and least clothed. 

“Homosexual men at least have long been known for their sense of style. While that’s inaccurate as a practical fact, the stereotype has continued due partly to people’s affection for it. Regardless of the reasons, the opportunities are there and both gay men and women should take advantage of it and get clothes that fit, or at least ones that will stay together,” said Scrape TV Sexual Identity analyst Maria Kant.  “It may a product of hot weather causing clothes to become slippery and sliding off but you don’t see that with other parades or outdoor events. I’ve never seen say a Neo-Nazi march where swastikas in private places were being exposed to the world, however interesting that might be to see. It may be that what we have believed about the myth of homosexual fashion is actually true after all.”

Many observers have pointed to the lack of clothing suddenly falling off runway models as evidence to the contrary of that assumption, though admit that the presence of heterosexual fashion designers may help by increasing competition for small numbers of jobs.

“At this point it may very well be that it has become a habitual thing. People make friends at places like these parades and they end up shopping at the same stores and with more or less the same sensibilities which results in even more people with ill-fitted clothing which inevitably ends up on the ground along the parade route,” continued Kant. “There is an argument that nudity is somehow intrinsically linked with the idea of Pride and even homosexuality itself. That it is a sort of acting out, much like a child throwing a tantrum, a cry for attention. That may very well be a fact for some people but it may be that that is simply a cover up for the truth which of course is lousy clothing.”

Pride parades across the continent continue through June, clothing more or less optional.