Serial hoaxer Daniel Hammond claimed he was raped by whale

A BRAZEN prankster claimed he was raped by a whale and gave his name as Ben Dover during one of many hoax calls to the emergency services.

Daniel Hammond made nuisance calls for eight months, telling busy emergency operators he lived in Doctor Who's TARDIS.

On one occasion, he reported that his manhood fell off because he smoked too much weed and was struggling to have sex.

Another time, the lanky 21-year-old impersonated Saddam Hussein and claimed he hid a bomb on a train, a court in Sevenoaks, England, was told.

Prosecutor James Nichols said Hammond enjoyed the thrill of wasting the emergency services' time with his bizarre and persistent tales.

The court was told that Hammond was caught when he called to report threats he claimed he was receiving, and police recognised his mobile phone number.

Defense lawyer Laura Hollingham said her client's behavior was a result of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.When Hammond was finally arrested, he said he "couldn't remember" all of the disturbing details of the calls but admitted the offenses.

The court was also told that Hammond suffered from depression and that his family was struggling to cope with his "many problems".

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HAPPY FRIDAY

Chinese man Wang Mou 'posed as a woman and married men for money'

A man has been arrested in China for allegedly posing as a woman in order to marry men for their money. 18-year-old Wang Mou had reportedly married three men already this year.

The Dahe Daily reported that after getting married, Wang subsequently fled with the engagement moneyreportedly got into the marriage scam when, in February, a woman who had promised to find him a job instead sold him as a wife.

'She cheated me, but I found a chance to escape then realized I could use the same shortcut to make some money,' Wang said.

'A lot of people mistake me for a woman on first sight,' Wang added. 

After the first marriage, he then sold himself, with the help of an accomplice, to two further men for £1,000 a time. 

He was caught after fleeing on the day of the third wedding by local women, who turned him over to the police when they realised he was a man.

Wallabies sold as alternatives to lawnmower

Mary Davies, 50, has been breeding the marsupials at Leonardslee Gardens, the Grade I-listed attraction in Horsham, West Sussex, which she runs with her twin brother Tom Loder.

She said the animals have done such a good job with her gardens that she has a waiting list of customers wanting to use them on their own land.

Wallabies from Tasmania were introduced at Leonardslee by her great-great-grandfather, the naturalist Sir Edmund Loder in 1889.“They can't chew nice stripes into your lawn, but they are excellent at keeping the grass well grazed.”

Mrs Davies, who lives nearby, established her separate group of eight albino and nine grey Bennett's wallabies 15 years ago to help prevent inbreeding among the 50 or so at Leonardslee.

She is selling her animals for between £300 and £1,000 each, depending on colour and gender. She said they need at least an acre of land on which to graze.

But buyers will have to take the 2.5ft to 3ft tall animals in pairs, because wallabies like to be with a mate.

But Mrs Davies told the Daily Mail: “If they find something they like to eat, it's gone. So you might have to watch out for your roses.”

Wallabies are simply small kangaroos. They can live up to 40 years, run up to 30mph and leap up to 6ft high.

PHYSICAL VIDEO FROM GLEE

David Cameron wants to give every town and city a triple barrelled name like Kingston-Thames or Stoke-On -Trent i think that'll go down well in in Liverpool-on-Benefits

THEY DON'T MAKE SHOWS LIKE THIS ANYMORE

MY NEW OBSESSION BROOKE SHIELDS !!!!

PETS THAT WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES

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 Please will someone lend me their pet just for a few hours i want to dress them up....PLEASE !!!!!

OLD SPICE IS GREAT

New blanket saves stinky marriages

A viral ad for a blanket made with activated carbon fabric to absorb the odour of flatulence has become an online hit.

The campaign for the so-called Better Marriage Blanket has been viewed more than a million times on YouTube.

The ad claims that the blanket, designed by Denver science teacher Francis Bibbois, is a "real solution to a very real problem".

Mr Bibbo apparently got the idea for the blanket when he was hunting in a suit made of similar materials and realised he could break wind undetected.

He created the prototype more than 15 years ago but the world is only now getting wind of it.

The machine washable blanket is said to completely absorb the smell of flatulence - and only needs washing every four years.

The product's website claims the blanket contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.

Piggyback enthusiast arrested

 Oregon School Activities Association had advised athletes to look out for the suspect after he turned up at several games in Washington and Oregon, befriending the athletes, and requesting piggyback rides in exchange for money.

Police told the KGW news channel that they arrested the man at a hotel in Tualatin, Oregon on Monday on a drug-related warrant from Mount Vernon, Washington. An officer had seen him in recent days at a school event.

'We received communication from several schools that this individual had talked his way into their locker room, had pictures taken, had a ball autographed, had gone out to the parking lot and got piggyback rides from some of the players,' said Tom Welter, Executive Director of OSAA.

While the man has a criminal record, he has not previously been convicted of piggyback-related offences. After his arrest, he was transported to a Washington jail, then released on bail. 

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EASY APPLE PIE RECIPE

  

Serves 6

225g flour
115g unsalted butter, chilled and diced
Salt
1.5kg cooking apples such as bramley
115g granulated sugar, plus 1 tbsp for sprinkling
3-4 cloves
½ egg white, beaten

To make the pastry, place the flour with the butter and a pinch of salt in a food processor. Blend until the mixture forms fine breadcrumbs. Tip into a bowl and mix in 3-4 tbsp cold water. Lightly knead the mixture into a dough, wrap in foil and chill for 30 minutes.Heat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas Mark 6. Peel, quarter and core the apples. Roughly chop and tip into a largish pie dish. Mix in 115g sugar, 3 tbsp water and the cloves.

On a lightly floured surface, roll out the pastry into roughly the same shape as your pie dish only larger. Cut a ribbon from the edge of the pastry and press it firmly onto the rim of the pie dish. Brush with a little beaten egg white.

Loosely roll the pastry onto a rolling pin and lift onto the pie dish. Using a fork or spoon, firmly press around the rim so that the two pastries are glued together, then cut off the excess. Prick the pastry with a fork and paint with some more egg white. Sprinkle with 1 tbsp sugar.

Bake in the centre of the preheated oven for 20 minutes, then reduce the temperature to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4 and bake for a further 15 minutes or until the pastry is golden and crisp.

WHAT A COMPLETE TWAT !!!

ZOO magazine has been forced to apologise after its celebrity agony uncle, the actor Danny Dyer, advised a reader to "cut your ex's face, so no one will want her".

Danny Dyer undergoing combat training for his role in the film Age of Heros Photo: REX

Dyer, 32, star of the Football Factory, dispensed his advice in the latest edition of the "lad's mag" to a heartbroken boyfriend who had asked how best to recover from a break-up.

He first told the reader, 23, identified only as "Alex, Manchester", to go out "with the boys" and get "on the booze" then find a new girlfriend so he could dump her and "break her heart".

Dyer's words have caused outrage on Twitter, the micro-blogging site.Then he concluded his reply with the words: "Of course, the other option is to cut your ex's face, and then no one will want her."

One tweet, from blockbusterbuzz, said: “If this is meant to be a joke, it isn't remotely funny. If it's serious, it's a criminal offence.”

Another, from hannahkaty, said: "To the people who think Danny Dyer is "funny" and "ironic": Have a read of this?"

Domestic violence charities have also criticised Dyer for his "inexcusable" advice.

Sandra Horley, from Refuge, said: "It is all too easy to dismiss comments like these as a joke, but at Refuge we know that domestic violence takes lives and ruins lives.

"One-woman-in-four experiences domestic violence at some point in her life.

"Two women are killed every week by a current or former partner. And these figures aren’t going down.

"One-in-eight young men believe it is OK to hit their girlfriend if she is nagging.

"Danny Dyer’s irresponsible and tasteless comments do nothing but reinforce these horrific attitudes. Shame on him.”

The staff at ZOO magazine, a weekly publication, apologised for printing the response but blamed Dyer's advice on a "production error".

A spokesman said: "Due to an extremely regrettable production error, an inappropriate and indefensible response to a letter has appeared in this week's issue.

"ZOO editor, Tom Etherington, apologises unreservedly for any offence the response may have caused and has launched an internal inquiry to ensure lessons are learnt.

"ZOO and Danny Dyer condemn any violence against women. A donation will be made to Women's Aid."

LOOK OUT GORDON RAMSEY..

It seems Mark Bradwin a kitchen supervisor with Webbles Burger in Minnesota has finally had enough.  The 26 year old Kentucky native has been stabbed twice by unruly cooks that could not take his aggressive form of criticism.  Mr. Bradwin admits that he can be a little tough on his staff and regularly uses the F-bomb when he feels they are not working up to potential.

The first stabbing took place in June of 2006, after a 12 hour shift together with a junior cook by the name of Jesse Richmonde.  After Jesse burned an entire grill full of Angus all-beef burger he was chasitized by Bradin and told that his pay would be docked for the ruined burgers.  Jesse lost it and stabbed he boss twice in the shoulder before being restrained by the two dishwashers on duty.  The most recent assualt was in the Summer of 2008 when the new breakfast cook took out an all-night dope fest on Mark and stabbed him in the back between his shoulderblades.

While recouping in St. Mercy’s hospital from the most recent attack, Mark decided enough was enough and began work on his ’stabless kitchen knife’. He already has pre-orders for over 40,000 knifes from chefs across the US and Asia and it seems he will be leaving Webbles Burger in pursuit of his new endevour.

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For those of you that are stuck in the 70’s we have a great product for you!

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LOVE THIS SONG

THE LOVELY FLOELLA BENJAMIN

BUCKS FIZZ BEFORE AND NOW !!!!

THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE THIS ANYMORE

GLEE: Sue's Corner - Sneaky Gays

QUOTES

Baseball's hard, guys. I mean, it really is. You can love it but, believe me, it don't always love you back. It's kind of like dating a German chick, you know? 

“Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.”

The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good”

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

"The good news is Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

Sad end for bear with jar on head

The jar was said to be the type that holds sweets or popcorn US wildlife officials who tried to capture a bear that had a jar stuck on its head, have shot the animal after it wandered into a busy Minnesota town. The bear, a male about two years old, was killed by police after six days of failed efforts to catch it alive. "When it got into town, our main concern was public safety," said Rob Naplin, a local wildlife supervisor. The wild black bear could breathe but could not eat or drink, and was probably hungry and dehydrated. 'Tough condition' "With all the people around... you're never sure what the outcome is going to be," Mr Naplin told the Minneapolis Star Tribune newspaper. Mr Naplin said efforts had been made to capture the bear alive as it moved through areas near the town of Lake George, where it was first spotted on 21 July. Efforts to tranquilise the animal failed because the bear "stayed in forested areas", he said. Mr Naplin said the bear was "in pretty tough condition" after being unable to eat or drink for several days because of the 2.5-gallon (9.5-litre) plastic jar on its head. He said the jar was the type that holds sweets or popcorn, and had probably become lodged on its head as the bear was foraging for food.

SUCH A CAMP VIDEO !!!

Grandmother and grandson to have child together

Pearl Carter and Phil Bailey Photo: New Idea magazine

Pearl Carter and Phil Bailey, 26, have paid a surrogate mother £20,000 to have Mr Bailey’s child, which the couple plan to bring up together.

Mrs Carter, from Indiana, met Mr Bailey four years ago after he tracked her down following the death of his mother, Lynette.

She went on to marry, but never had any more children.Mrs Carter fell pregnant with Lynette at 18, out of wedlock, and claims that she was forced to give her child up for adoption by her strict Catholic parents.

The couple, who claim to be abused in public and could face prison for incest, say that they fell in love and became lovers soon after meeting.

In an interview with the New Zealand magazine, New Idea, Mrs Carter, said: “I’m not interested in anyone else’s opinion.

"I am in love with Phil and he’s in love with me. Soon I’ll be holding my son or daughter in my arms and Phil will be the proud dad.”

Mr Bailey said: “I love Pearl with all my heart. I’ve always been attracted to older women and I think Pearl is gorgeous. Now I’m going to be a dad and I can’t wait.

“Yes, we get laughed at and bullied when we go out and kiss in public but we don’t care. You can’t help who you fall for.”

Mrs Carter said that she searched for her lost daughter for many years, finally giving up hope 15 years ago. After Mr Bailey’s mother died from cancer, he decided to find his grandmother, finally tracking down her address and writing to her.

Mrs Carter, who was then single, said: “I was stunned to get his letter. My heart jumped that I’d be re-united with a grandson.

"When he emailed me a photo, I thought what a handsome and sexy man he was before pinching myself – he was my grandson. I wrote back immediately and included my phone number.

“From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship. For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.”

Mr Bailey, a carpenter, said that he too felt instant attraction towards his grandmother. He said: “I wanted to kiss her there and then. My feelings were overwhelming.”

After a night out during their first week of dating, Mrs Carter decided that she would no longer hide her feelings from her grandson.

She said: “I called Phil into my bedroom, sat him on the bed, and then I leant over and kissed him. I expected rejection but instead he kissed me back.

“Living with Phil as my life partner has been amazing. He cooks and cleans and we make love three times a week. We can’t keep our hands off each other.’

A year ago, Mr Bailey announced that he wanted a child. Mrs Carter told him she was also desperate for a baby, but it was one wish that she could not fulfil as she had already gone through menopause.

The couple then decided to use Mrs Carter’s retirement money to find a surrogate mother and buy a donor egg to inseminate with Mr Bailey’s sperm.

They placed an advertisement asking for an open-minded surrogate, and Roxanne Campbell applied.

“Initially I was shocked,” said Miss Campbell, on learning the couple were related. “But they’re a brilliant pair and I saw how much they loved each other. I know the baby will be loved too.”

The couple sees Miss Campbell, 30, once a month and accompany her for scans.

Mrs Carter said: “I am just so happy. I am finally going to be a mum and not forced to give up my child.

“Phil’s going to be a great dad. I never in a million years thought at 72 I’d be 'pregnant' and in love with my grandson. I make no apologies and I believe God’s given me a second chance."

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