Thursday, 8 April 2010

Danny La Rue as Joan Collins in 2007

No Photo shopped pics on here!

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT

Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but
your waiter may know!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. (You'll need a calculator)!
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to
go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759...
If you haven't, add 1758.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number. ( I. e., How many times
you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!)

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Shouldn't laugh but it is funny

Women attempt to get on plane with a corpse

At first it seemed that the elderly gentleman in the wheelchair, wrapped in a blanket and wearing sunglasses, had simply nodded off while waiting for his budget airline flight to Berlin. But when staff at Liverpool's John Lennon Airport took a closer look at the slumped figure, it emerged that he had in fact answered a final departure call from a much higher authority.

Police revealed yesterday that two German women had been arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle Curt Willi Jarant, their deceased 91-year-old relative, on to an easyJet flight on Saturday. They were discovered after ferrying the corpse by taxi from a house 42 miles away in Oldham, Greater Manchester. It is alleged that the man's widow, Gitta Jarant, 66, and step-daughter, Anke Anusic, 41, ferried their dead relative around the airport in a wheelchair. When challenged at the check-in desk, the pair insisted that the man, who was also a German national, was merely "fast asleep".

The two women were questioned by Greater Manchester Police and later released on police bail pending the results of a post-mortem examination. The coroner is also investigating, although there are not thought to be any suspicious circumstances.

Yesterday Ms Jarant denied murdering her late husband. "I [did not] kill my Willi. My Willi is my god. I [have loved] my Willi for 22 years," she told the BBC.

Ms Anusic added that her stepfather, who suffered from Alzheimer's, had been treated in hospital for pneumonia. "They would think that for 24 hours we would carry a dead person? This is ridiculous. He was moving, he was breathing. Eight people saw him."

It is understood the dead man had been visiting relatives in Oldham over the Easter holiday but died on Good Friday. A spokeswoman for easyJet said: "Airport staff were immediately concerned about his health and the first aid team were called. It was then discovered the passenger was, in fact, deceased and the police were called."

A source at the airport – which uses the John Lennon lyric "above us only sky" as its slogan – said it was a highly unusual situation. A colleague of the taxi driver at Broadway Cars in Oldham said he had been left deeply upset after learning that his fare had been dead all along.

Kevin McAllister of Co-operative Funeralcare said that taking a body out of the country should be "relatively straightforward". The family of the deceased must formally register the death and satisfy the coroner over the cause of death and the burial arrangements. They are then issued with a form that allows an embalmed body to be transported in a sealed coffin.

How Sad

Famous Short Story quote

Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work.

No short stories from me but here's some poems...

Growing Up

First there was the boy
but he seemed like a man
older and bolder
the big 'I am'

Then there were the girls
and I took you by surprise
So I told a few half truths
but I never really lied

And along came the blond one
and meddled with my mind
Neither could admit
we were two of a kind

And next an older man
came to show me what to do
Who'd have thought that now
I'd teach him a trick or two?

A few one night stands
and best friends just for luck
I start to feel a victim
when I shouldn't give a ****

And then he came along
and turned it all around
Something quite fantastic
and wonderful I'd found

Then he went as well
and I'm back where I started
I'll keep a brave face
but I'm sorry that we've parted.

‘You can tell me anything’

‘You can tell me anything’

my mother said to me
‘Except that you’re a queer’.
Words like that leave an indelible impression
On a child who knows

‘But you are gay, aren’t you’
I would scream as I
looked at myself in the mirror.
‘No. It can’t be true’
The man in the mirror
Would reply.

‘What do you think of her?
My friends would ask
As they looked at the girls
‘Absolutely nothing’
I would say in a voice so quiet
That only God or the devil could hear.

‘If you are faithful, I will cure you’
said my aunt,
masquerading as the Lord.
So I was in the church
Every time the doors opened
Hoping for my reward.

‘You can’t turn off
your homosexual attractions’
said a voice of reason in my head.
‘In which case, I’ll turn off God’.
Not realising that the two
Should be reconciled instead.

Mistake

works hard

plays hard

big arms

works out

lust

love

smiling eyes

sun shines

whack

closed fist

that's how much he loves me

jealousy

stomach punch

vomit

apologies

because he loves me

sexual

bruises

excuses

cupboard doors

tip toe

egg shells

twisting, punching

scream and yell

broken arm

broken spell

terrified

calm

walk away

want to live

another

way

Ordinary

Here's a thing
Two men met
And fell in love

And they lived together
Both as men (not one butch, one fem)
For many years

And their friends were lawyers,
teachers, musicians
And any other professions
You could care to mention

And they didn't go insane
Or beat each other up
Or catch AIDS and die

They weren't any nicer to their mothers
Than anyone else
Nor did they have a keen eye
For interior design

They were just two men
Two men in love
Leading a fairly ordinary life

And all they asked for
Was the same visiting rights
The same inheritance rights
The same next of kin rights
The same human rights

Letter

I am writing to tell you something
I have wanted to tell you for a while
I'm... you know.
You probably already knew
From the lack of girlfriends
and dates altogether.
It was probably obvious to you that
I'm... you know.

I am writing to tell you that
It's not about how you raised me
You didn't make me... you know.
You did a great job bringing me up
You gave me self respect
and a respect for others
That pride really helped me To deal with... you know.

I am writing to tell you
That I kind of knew since I was young
But I didn't know to call it... you know.
I tried to rebel against it
I went to church a lot
and looked for a cure
But there's not a cure
There's nothing wrong with being... you know.

I am writing to tell you
That I tried to say it at home
But the opportunity never really came
And it's hard to say aloud... you know.
I know it will take you time to accept this
But believe me, it's taken me a long time too
I want to talk to you about it
But I'll wait for you to call and say, it's OK that I'm... you know.

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

How Times Change

These are the comments that pass between friends....

Did Anyone Ever Tell You
How Important You Make Others Feel
Somebody out here is Smiling
About Luv that is so Real

Did Anyone Ever Tell You that
Many Times When They were Sad
Your E-mails, Tags, Comments (and chats) made Them Smile a bit
In Fact It made Them Glad

For the Time You Spend Sending Things
And Sharing whatever You Find
There are No Words to Thank You
But Somebody, Thinks You're Fine

Did Anyone Ever Tell You
Just How Much They Luv You
Well, My Dearest Friend
Today I am Telling You

I HOPE I GET THIS BACK
I believe that without a special
friend you are missing out on a lot!!!

But don't just send it back, send it on to everyone..
Have a nice day, and I'm glad we are friends!!!

......... , . ~ . ~ , ~ , ...........
......... ).. - ~. . ' ..( ............
........ ( . . . ...(......) ...........
.........| . . . . . ).....| ...........
.........{.. . . . .(. . ./ ............
............ =(.. /.)= ...............
............... -;..;-' ................
.................)|( , .................
................. || _.-'| .............
............. , _|| .._,/ .............
....... , ... ....|| .' .................
......|...|...,...||/ ...................
..../...| /|., |Y|| ....................
... '-...'-._....||/ ...................
........>_.-..Y| ...................
............. , _|| ....................
................. || ....................
................. || ....................
................. || ....................
..................||.....................

Send this rose to everyone you care
about

WOW

Oh My God Poor Sod !!

So What!!

Ricky Martin and what it means to be a gay pop star in 2010

The most widespread reaction to Ricky Martin coming out last week was a great big shrug. Have we stopped caring about our pop stars' sexuality?

Mike Atkinson
guardian.co.uk, Thursday 1 April 2010 21.45 BST
Article history

Ricky Martin . . . is the pressure easing on gay performers? Photograph: THAIS LLORCA/EPA

Twelve years ago, when his activities in a Californian public toilet forced George Michael to declare his sexuality to the world, the singer was widely hailed for his courage and good grace. This week, the reaction toRicky Martin's apparently unforced declaration of gayness ("I am a fortunate homosexual man") has been less effusive. On the BBC's Have Your Say forum, opinions mostly ranged from "who cares" to "we already knew", with some even suggesting that the whole episode was a publicity stunt, staged to boost flagging sales of his music.

If society has reached the stage where the coming out of a pop star provokes little more than a collective shrug, then perhaps the pressure is also easing on other openly gay performers, who now feel less burdened to act as figureheads or role models. When asked about this in 2008, Boy George told me he "never had that separatist attitude about 'gay' and 'straight'. I love being gay and I support gay culture, but I don't think of myself as being a solely gay artist."

Nevertheless, George's follow-up comments provided an unexpected sting. "Today's pop stars are out of the closet," he continued, "but they don't express anything about their sexuality. They don't ever use the word 'he' in their songs. They think they don't need to, because they think everybody loves them. They've been lulled into this false sense of security."

At this charge, a gay performer might trot out that well-worn line, "I want my songs to have a universal appeal." A cynic might retort that he was merely scared of being pigeonholed as a gay act, as that could limit his appeal. Either way, you'll search long and hard to find hit songs that unequivocally reference same-sex desire, as opposed to dropping veiled hints. Curiously, many of the former – Suede's The Drowners, Franz Ferdinand's Michael, Placebo's Nancy Boy, Katy Perry's I Kissed a Girl, tATu's All the Things She Said – are the work of artists who have sought to play games with sexual identity, rather than bona fide, down-the-line gay acts. In other words, it's the ambiguous acts who have often felt the most free to sing in unambiguous terms.

In the case of Suede, who reunited last week for a rapturously received show at the Royal Albert Hall, most of the ambiguity was supplied by singer Brett Anderson, who famously declared that he was "a bisexual man who never had a homosexual experience". His sexuality became an object of fascination, even though Suede's drummer Simon Gilbert had quietly come out early in the band's career. As with his contemporary Simon Fowler, the singer of Ocean Colour Scene, there was never any big deal about Gilbert's sexuality, perhaps because neither performer could be placed into the usual categories – arty/cerebral (Neil Tennant, Michael Stipe) or colourful/flamboyant (Jake Shears, Elton John) – that still define most gay performers. Neither Gilbert nor Fowler played with representations of sexuality: they just happened to be gay.

For isolated young gay men who might be seeking public role models, but who remain wary of identifying with anyone that carries too strong a whiff of camp, perhaps it is the gay stars of mainstream pop who have had the most to offer. Will Young, Mark Feehily of Westlife and the late Stephen Gately have all presented themselves as clean-cut boy-next-door types – and yet all remained objects of desire for their overwhelmingly female fanbases.

That has given rise to a curious phenomenon, whereby openly gay pop performers now feel free to flirt on stage with wildly appreciative female audiences, without compromising their core identities. You'll find the same thing at John Barrowman's shows, where the star can be found relating homespun anecdotes about his partner, before suggestively wiggling and thrusting his way through songs like Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. So if you're hoping that Ricky Martin, gay pop's freshest addition to the ranks, might start reworking his old hits with a new gay twist (He Bangs, anyone?), you are best advised to prepare for disappointment.

Just Me !!

About Me

Search This Blog